Instinct or Fitness…

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I’m just going to admit it- I’m uncoordinated. I will never be good at sports or exercising. Never have been, do not aspire to it.  First of all, going to a gym without at least some color on my face- blush or lipstick -would be sort of horrifying for me. I would hate to inflict that on anyone. I no longer buy swimsuits. I still call them bathing suits-I do not wear bathing suits so as not to inflict my aging body on the general public.  I can wear a cute cover up and have a fine old time. IMG_1398

The last time I tried exercising in a group publically was in an aerobics class at my church at least 30 years ago- it was a disaster– no really, I am not kidding. The building had indoor/outdoor carpeting. I  had on a cute new outfit with socks and tennis shoes. I stood on the back row of a class of 30 women, just in case. I could not get the steps right, I could not shift several steps to the right and hop, flailing my arms around in the air at the same time. I hopped-scooted over…my tennis shoe caught on the indoor outdoor carpet I stumbled backwards, trying not to hurt anyone or break their rhythm and ended up flinging myself into a whole wall of metal folding chairs. It was not pretty, it was loud with all of those chairs falling like steel dominoes. The acoustics in that room are pretty good… let’s just say this was not a joyful noise unto the Lord.women exercising dailymail.uk

I have tried to explain being uncoordinated for years- especially when folks tell me about steps and swings and all manner of fitness routines. I cannot risk it.  I’m not proud of this.  I have tried walking on a tread mill more than once and more than once have managed to trip and skid off, machine still rolling.women on treadmills vintage

My husband, a person of considerable athletic skill, has known and accepted my uncoordinated style; since as newlyweds he let me go with him on a run…when we got back he said-

  • ‘How ’bout letting me run by myself from now on?
  • ‘Why?’
  • ‘Well your feet flap on the pavement.’ Enough said.

I signed up for golf lessons many years ago…the instructor told me at the end of the first lesson- ‘Ma’am, golf just isn’t your game.’ He didn’t offer to return my money…I didn’t ask either.vintage woman golfing

I really accepted my ineptness early on…when I was in college I was required to have a certain amount of physical education.

  • I took tennis.
  • I knew the rules, I aced the written tests.
  • When my grade came out, it was a glaring ‘B’ –
  • I asked the instructor why he had given me a B-
  •  Graciously he said, ‘You don’t have the Killer Instinct.’

Most Southern folks start planning their funerals when they are in their 40’s if not before…Please believe me, I know this- we have a morbid fascination with the process. It could be argued that dyin’ is more fascinating in the South. When I want my husband to listen to anything I am saying – I just have to say- ‘When I die…’ or ‘I want this played at my funeral.’   He listens up.

Recently I was contemplating an extra roll of fat I had found- it’s none of your business where I found it-I was thinking maybe I should give fitness another chance. I’ve got some important tests coming up- my cholesterol screening and BMI. I thought of all the personal risks involved. To exercise is risky for me.  I have decided that having-

Beloved Wife and Mother

She Never had the Killer Instinct

Carved on my tombstone-is sounding better and better all the time.old tombstone- aol images

Meanwhile, before I start pushing up daisies- I’m keeping close to the ground and digging in my garden…

Love y’all, Camellia

The photograph of the tennis player and the swimmer are from a vintage encyclopedia- called The New Wonder World- last copyright- 1941 by Geo. L. Shuman and Co.

The women on treadmills- attributed to an article by Huffingon Post

The golfer, the group photograph of women exercising and the tombstone from AOL images and may be subject to copyright.

 

47 thoughts on “Instinct or Fitness…

  1. Oh my dear, I’m right there with you!! The church fitness class debacle would have been my story too, if I ever ventured to one!!
    I have tripped on air, and fallen up stairs before! And, fallen off flip flops!! Let’s just say, mine were more flops than flips!
    I call them bathing suits too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you! well..i google what i’m looking for sometimes but I have a good many vintage books that I photograph as well- fun stuff! oh and often I will take an old photograph and photoshop to black and white-if I do find photos online I try to find public domain

      Liked by 1 person

    1. ha! yes, and I know this first hand- last summer we were in DC just a few hours…we all went out to walk around Georgetown and not 3 blocks from our hotel, I tripped on an uneven sidewalk and fell head first! we took our first tour of DC by a really large emergency vehicle which held all 5 of us! umhmm 12 weeks in an arm brace, knee surgery and a gash on my forehead… it’s funny but not

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was proud of my family- they forged ahead and had a good time- I had to limit some of my activities- it was not the best of times to recover…however in my confinement I came up with this crazy idea of writing a blog- just in case I ever really do get confined! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Lol, you have such a great sense of humor!!
    Even though I don’t think you were looking for advice really, here’s one: just simple walking or riding the bicycle (if you think you that it won’t be too dangerous for you) can make a lot of difference. You don’t have to be next female Arnold Schwarzenegger 🙂 P&L

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh darlin’ I love advice ! I do have a Fitbit band and try to walk as much as I can…last year I did trip on an uneven sidewalk in Georgetown however, when we travel we enjoy large cities and walking tours ! Bicycles might be another story….thanks for the advice…I do love yoga may write about that some time…when I string 3 days together doing it !

      Liked by 1 person

  3. As a personal trainer, I am constantly looking at different mindsets and coming up with ways of encouraging people and trying to break down barriers, I must say I love the way you find the humor in it all. And just take hold of it as it comes 👍🏻 great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow I can totally relate to this. I’m a nineteen year old who is in the beginning of my fitness journey. I started a blog to share my experiences and progress along the way! If your interested check it out! braedonsjourney.wordpress.com

    Like

  5. The wife and I really love this blog and appreciate the creativity and inspiration you provide. If you ever decide to take this blog to the next level by offering a Mobile App version my company Zenlight would love to help for an extremely low price, we appreciate the hard work you have put into this blog and wish you all future success in business and in life.

    Thank you for your time, it is the most precious thing we all possess.
    -Jacque’

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on Camellia's Cottage and commented:

    Well, now that I’ve eaten too much on Thanksgiving, I was thinking that I need to burn off some of those calories- then I thought of this post and am rethinking it! The most ‘liked’ post on Camellia’s Cottage’s short history….Instinct or Fitness! Maybe laughing burns calories! Enjoy!

    Like

  7. Yep, we’re kind of alike. Haven’t worn a “bathing suit” in decades even though I’m thin enough. Don’t like pucker drapey skin. Besides, I don’t swim and my dermatologist would be aghast if I came in with a tan. Cut off jeans with a tee shirt works good enough for my infrequent trips to the beach. As a kid, I was always picked last for teams (even though everyone liked me). Never bothered me much. Even when I went skiing I would agree to meet my friends at the hot chocolate hut (where I spent most of my time admiring the scenery). Never even tried golf. Eighteen holes with no ice cream truck or bathrooms. I think not.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Even before my spinal cord injury ruined what little coordination I had organized exercise routines and I had a hate/hate relationship. I spent so much time in the ER as a kid that the doctor told me I should have my own key. I can easily see myself and the metal chairs toppling to the ground together!
    And they’re bathing suits no matter what Madison Avenue tells us to call them now. And I don’t wear them because people see my round body in bright colors and think they can play in the pool with me. I’d let them if I’d end up flattened from being jumped on but it doesn’t work that way.
    Now funerals! That I can get behind. I have a list on my phone, computer, and typed out of what songs I want played (and the artist who MUST be used), who gets what, and how I want my body disposed of (although my family says dropping me in the peat bogs a little north of here would get them in trouble and I probably wouldn’t end up a 500 year old bog body in a museum anyway; more like the body under the Walmart parking lot.

    Liked by 1 person

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