Don’t believe ’em…

imageBesides our glowing skin, our charming accents, the unusual way we talk and the fact that most of the time we’re cuter; what people really like about Southern Women is our Food! I mean who doesn’t like:

  •  Fried chicken, real macaroni and cheese
  • Green beans, cornbread,
  • Blackberry cobbler, sweet potato casserole
  • and our Banana pudding?

So, every once in a while I feel I should warn folks about seriously misguided phrases, so you can avoid being trapped into eating something not at all like Real Southern food! For instance, if someone says-

  • ‘I found a new recipe for fruitcake and it doesn’t even taste like fruitcake!’ – Don’t believe ’em. We don’t say that for Fried Pies, Blackberry Cobbler, Banana Pudding or Mimi’s Pound Cake! And really why would you even want to make a fruitcake that doesn’t taste like fruitcake? Only a fruitcake, if you get my drift…fruit-cake

If someone wants you to try something called ‘Southern Style’ – well, it’s a fad. If style is added after Southern- Don’t believe ’em…it’s against the truth in advertising law. We all love to be stylish but don’t mess with our food! I’m also leery if someone says- ‘ I make fried chicken’. No, darlin’… this is how you say it-‘Ah’m gonna fry some chicken.’  And the clencher is if she has the burn marks to prove it; pulls up her sleeve- points to a place and says ‘Easter, 1998’ – and that place is ‘March 2001’.  That is physical proof of someone who can actually fry chicken- not make or style fried chicken!

But the real term to avoid is: ‘It tastes just like…’ chickens-black-publicdomainpictures

  • No, Honey, Alligator does not taste just like Chicken- it’s  tough and chewy…not even a tom turkey is as tough as alligator! Just say- It’s alligator, try it if you dare and add that white alligator meat is better than dark.
  • Sweetheart, Frog Legs do not taste just like chicken! Someone tried to pass off Buffalo Frog Legs on me one time and I was not fooled by that Yankee for a New York minute!Fried Frog legs are common in the South and lots of people like ’em, but Faithful Frog Leg Lovers are proud to place an order for Fried Frog Legs please ma’am.
  • Bless your heart, I hope you nevah believe that Turtle tastes just like chicken– go ahead and try our high faloutin’ Turtle Soup but please don’t ever compare it to chicken!
  • No Darlin’-Rattlesnake does not taste just like chicken- I’ve been to that rodeo before…and I looked like someone gaggin’ on a maggot when I was told what I was really eating! Honestly since Eve pawned off that Apple on Adam- Southern men will go to any lengths to pass off Reptiles and Am-phib-ians as chicken! Don’t believe ’em.
  • No Precious- Soy Burgers, Emu or Buffalo steaks do not taste just like beef and believe me in a state like Alabama where cattle are raised in every single county? We do know Real Beef.
  • And Tater Tot- Turkey Bacon cannot compare to the only meat designed to produce real Bacon-Don’t believe ’em…you have to go Whole Hog to get real bacon! IMG_1387
  • Imitation or Mock Crab does not taste like Alabama Blue Crab! And while I’m at it- Don’t believe ’em if they  say Crawfish tastes like a cross between lobster or shrimp! Crawfish is a delicacy on it’s own! *please note: It is a cross we bear, but please-Southerners do not say Cray-fish! That really sticks in this Southern girl’s craw!image

Today I was amusing myself by reading one of my favorite cookbooks- Don’t even think about asking me which one, I cannot bear for cornbread to be shown such disrespect– Some woman, whose ancestors, no doubt are Carpetbaggers; was Scalawag enough to pawn off a recipe called ‘No Corn Bread’ – really!  She actually wants folks to use Cream of Wheat instead of our revered Corn Meal! I tossed the cookbook away from me in abject horror. I couldn’t believe it! Why mess with perfection?2016-03-23 13.50.11Though as I’m writing this, I have to think that the cook who submitted- No Corn Bread  must either be flush with  money or not very well liked. Some Junior Leaguer is surely grinning like a possum- that she included such an irreverent recipe in the final draft!  You might as well be warned, don’t put too much credence in food styles, any recipe that says ‘mock’ or ‘tastes just like’  are food traps! Be warned, they are out there and often passed off as Real Southern Food.- Don’t believe ’em.

Love y’all, Camellia

*note: There is an actual Rattlesnake Rodeo held  in Opp Alabama if you ever get a hankering for real rattlesnake!. We might be the only State in the Union to have one town name Opp and another called Epp! Many years ago, I had a dear friend who had travelled from her home in New England cross country- She could not believe that she passed through OOPS on one side of the state and on the other side. she passed through EEPS, yes, that’s my sweet home Alabama!

Fruitcake photo is from http://www.commons.wikimedia, Black Chickens from http://www.publicdomainpictures.net All other photographs are my own.

 

45 thoughts on “Don’t believe ’em…

  1. Well this Yankee found this post hilarious. I’ve lived in Texas now for 7 years. I’m still utterly confused by the why’s and what’s of many things……

    Camellia…this is Nikki from A Kinder Way. I have started a new blog. Pop by if you have a minute! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You have such a way with words! I love it. I was laughing the whole time. Every time I’ve been outside the south they insist I try something “southern” and I laugh at them. I’ll never forget when my ex-husband asked to try a “grit”. lol I have a cookbook of family recipes if you ever want one. I published them two years ago. I do confess though, some of my “family” isn’t Southern and so a few Yankee recipes made it into the cookbook. I’ll send you a free copy if you want one. Just let me know.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Send me an email to Tabitha.ashley@gmail.com and let me know where to send it. At this point, I still have so many of them, I’m willing to give them away to anyone who wants them. It takes $3.50 to mail. If you’d like to cover postage that would be fine, if not…I’ll take care of it. No the Yankee recipes aren’t marked, but I’m sure by reading them you’ll understand which ones are. lol

        Liked by 3 people

  3. Reblogged this on MARSHALL W THOMPSON, SR and commented:
    ” Where I come form it’s cornbread and chicken … everything is finger lick’n ” Alan Jackson. I told my son once to try some fried gator. I said it tastes just like chicken ! He looked at me at the age of 5 with the wisdom of Solomon and said ” which is cheaper the gator or the chicken”. Not knowing I was being set up ( he was very good at that ), I answered the chicken. He then said I’ll have the chicken then if they taste the same. It was one of those southern “Bless his heart” moments. For the uninformed that translates to ” Dad you are a special kind of stupid “

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Camellia- I love the first comment that you are a gourmet writer!! That’s it exactly!!
    I love your style, Lady!
    And you are so right about frog legs, and rattlesnake!
    I must confess, I do like the occasional gator tail!
    My son-in-law from Hog Valley, Fl makes a scrumptious fried turtle!! You know just from the name, that he’s a good ole Southern boy!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww.. yes! There is sadness here today- a young man named Chris Porter who went to school with our daughters, 36, a fine musician and song writer – was killed with his tour bus 10/19- only child. Blogging keeps the spirits up! xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you sweetie, you never kn ow when young people are in your home- that they might grow old or they might die young- he was funny, loved his life and was loved by all- cannot imagine the grief for his parents- both teachers- fine people. Life is fragile…he couldn’t stand intolerance, wrote Americana music much like Willie Nelson but I have to believe that he died doing what he loved- oh me, sorry to go on and on

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s