Some Things Never Go Out Of Style…

20877054-9485-4571-9E48-88F0E310F2ABSome things never go out of style. Pearls. A handwritten thank you note. A good white blouse. A bereavement casserole or a pound cake. A kind word.

57DDD8B5-4814-47B7-8581-B0AD79AA7981A well cut suit and a decent raincoat. A genuine compliment. Well made shoes kept in good condition. Giving someone your full attention. Looking decent when you leave the house. Table manners.

CE7D9B55-9CC0-4A59-9F6A-7FC389CEF403Good language skills, even if spoken with a slight accent might make the difference in social situations or could call into question your upbringing. My grandmother sure drove this point home! Extending common courtesies. These things never go out of style.

I saw a disturbing headline recently that questioned whether the southern tradition of good manners is alive and well. Occasionally, I have to wonder whether that headline is true.

AD7FC119-65A2-408F-A6D4-5D3D7FE00A6ARecently, a sweet southern lady remarked, in her best southern accent, ‘Folks just seem so impolite, why just yesterday someone in a nice car behind me, actually honked their horn! Impatient and aggressive if you ask me.’  She was rattled to say the least. Okay, the two of us are… of a certain age. Still. She had a point and a nostalgic conversation ensued about good manners and other things that never go out of style.

CD92A979-5A2B-42CA-AC06-BE9ACA3558E3It’s important to understand that life is always better when we have at least a few genuine lifelong friends who stand by us ’til the end! So…no matter how many beauty contests you won or how high you rise on the corporate ladder- remember that you will always need friends and you will never be queen of everything! Since this is true- be the one who is willing to shine up and straighten your friends’ reputations and crowns without letting on that her tiara had slipped in the first place!

66AB7C8C-2897-4EFA-97A2-54BDCA467411Hospitality is important to friends, family and even strangers who might stop by…always be ready to offer refreshment of some sort. Be as generous as possible- the best hosts offer abundance… it sets the guests at ease so they won’t have to worry if there will be enough. And! Be the one who offers to add to the abundance by bringing a dish or drink if you are a guest!

18F26ABE-5E14-4D94-913E-357DF6ED18ADLearn and follow the basic rules of polite social engagements. Find out ahead of time what the occasion entails and the dress code. Always take a hostess gift, offer to help with set-up or clean up, leave at a reasonable time and don’t be the guest who wears out your welcome, then- for heaven’s sake – remember to write some sort of complimentary thank you note!

 

 

Come down off your high horse. While you value your opinions- others have their own perspectives which may differ. Show respect. Avoid discussions that could get heated. Is whatever you think, worth expressing, if it means losing important friends and relationships?53D8E6A0-6B0B-4AAA-AA65-7B34C0525218

And while I’m at it- limit gossip, I’m not sure it can ever be eradicated…just know when talk has gone over the edge from idle gossip to just plain meanness. No amount of saying, ‘Bless his heart.’ ‘We need to pray for her.’ Or passing unfair judgement ever made anyone look better! If you look back on your life…you might find that we are all just one bad decision away from being in the same dilemma- we’ve taken so much pleasure in passing along!706E302B-54B3-446B-ADDF-513ACF10DC2B

Thank you for letting me preach a little here…This judgement of others would include religious beliefs that folks hold dear. My own faith is important to me- yet that doesn’t mean I have all the answers to life’s dilemmas.450D5F7F-CA36-4871-A080-8B886E1F8C85

I recently read that a certain eastern religion believes in Smile Energy- I don’t know all of the particulars…yet I do know this- life just feels better and lighter when I smile than when I frown! Speaking of making a face… please don’t! Would you rather be known for your smile or your sour attitude? F1591DBC-BE6B-4B88-9BF6-3EC2C4B96B4E

If you belong to an organization, participate! Be the one who offers encouragement but is also willing to gather the kindling, bring the marshmallows and light the campfire! Let the leader lead, be teachable, become part of the sisterhood or brotherhood.

 

 

I speak from experience on this- find a group you can support wholeheartedly and the quality of your life will improve in direct proportion to your enthusiasm.  And, while I’ve been talking about things that never go out of style… offering support to others might be the one thing that never goes out of style! Support is best expressed by one of my favorite authors…

‘Support is a hand held when you’ve failed, a smile in the morning when you leave to face the world, a laugh shared till your sides ache and tears flow down your cheeks.’ By Mary Alice Monroe from ‘Second Star to the Right’

A ‘hand held’ when the day hasn’t gone so well or you need support…or even as a sign of affection- costs nothing but could mean everything!

82D70BF6-F81E-4077-B124-50C3673CC7EFThough darlin’- our southern mothers would add- ‘Limit those public shows of affection to hand holdin’ or a peck on the cheek, unless folks get the wrong idea about you, then, question your upbringing!’ Our southern mothers’ advice is another thing that never goes out of style! Oh me, how I do run on!

Love y’all, Camellia

*All photographs are from my private collection with the exception of the ‘friends’, the hospitality queens with the turkeys and the ‘ugly face’ which were found via Pinterest so long ago I haven’t been able to run down the source- if they belong to you please let me know so I can credit you properly! Thank you. * The photos I chose for this post were chosen for subject matter only. They are fine beautifully mannered folks!

 

14 thoughts on “Some Things Never Go Out Of Style…

  1. I love this post, thank you for the hot tips on manners and etiquette! Very valuable points, almost all lost in todays world, thank you for spreading the traditions!

  2. Thank you for bringing up the importance of up-bringing, bless your heart. I loved this trip down memory lane and the truth it still conveys. I was pleasantly surprised that the lady was upset by horn blowing–I just knew the next words would be that she had been flipped the bird.

  3. Such a meaningful post! First, I would like to emphasize the importance of the subject you raise with style and eloquence. Nowadays, good manners are sometimes perceived as snobbery but in fact they are golden rules of politeness and respect for others. The photos attached to this post are particularly well chosen, and oh the vintage photo of the Chanel suit is wonderful. It appropriately illustrate the good manners presented in your post. I remember another blog post that you wrote a long time ago where you used this image. The topic was about domestic violence and you pointed out that domestic violence has no economic boundaries, nor does it favor a race or color, age range, etc. I recognized the image and I immediately knew that the subject of your post today would have great relevance. I was not mistaken. Well done!

    1. Dominique, my precious friend! Thank you! You’ve made my day 💙I try not to ‘preach’ very often- I feel in our fast paced world occasionally certain subjects need to be raised, such as domestic violence, respect for others and building community through kindness and support. What you are doing to raise awareness in such beautiful ways with Lisa and Darron is so uplifting! Perhaps if we put serious issues out into the world in a beautiful intelligent and lighthearted ways- the ripple effect will be as long lasting as a Chanel Suit! All the best! And thank you again, I will treasure your words! 💚💚💚

  4. Oh, Camellia! What a great post! Everyone needs a little reminder of what should be natural and basic courtesies. I don’t know what has happened over the years. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and giving these lovely reminders. I love the photos as well <3

    1. Thank you Jackie! I rarely ‘preach’ 🥰Your comment that you ‘dont Know what has happened’ is becoming more prevalent…hence the post 🥰 What can we do? It might seem like a small thing- yet I do believe in ripple effects for good or bad. 🥰

      1. Agreed. Whenever I can talk about or teach good manners, I do! I have no children, but I have a few nieces that have children. One is good about manners and the other not so much. I do try to gently teach all of my pseudo grandchildren if they seem to be straying.

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